I mean, I am a Christian, of course. I fall more in love with Jesus every day, but as hard as I try, I can’t seem to master the art of ‘being Christian.’ I want to look more and act more like Jesus, but it’s so hard and confusing, too. There are a bunch of things in the pages of the bible that I don't understand, and I am not sure I will on this side of heaven. That would be okay if weren’t for the fact that sometimes I think I’m the only one who finds becoming more like Jesus difficult.Read More
Connecting God to Your Everyday Life
It came down to a matter of faith, really. Did I trust God to fight this battle for me? Was I prepared to let the matter go and believe that somehow, some way it would be made right? Did I believe God?Read More
It’s as if I was aware I was in a funk but I was powerless to pull myself out of it. An accident, a disagreement, a diagnosis, and an unanswered prayer fell like an Acme Anvil on my already lackluster life in the last few months. It’s not that I was bored, I was just uninspired.Read More
Hey! Welcome! I love that you somehow saw the title and thought, “I really need to check this out.” Thanks for that.
Badass for Jesus is a phrase that I feel God gave me a few years ago. No, seriously. I was sitting in a speaking critique group and after a particularly rough week and was not in a mood to make small talk. Still, our leader asked us to go around the room and say something interesting about ourselves. (Stab me.)
I listened to the women share their desires, stories, and situations all the while wondering what I would possibly say when suddenly it was my turn. In a random act of NO self-control, I blurted out that I was exhausted with all of this trying and I just wanted to be badass for Jesus and was that so wrong?
I would have instantly regretted using such language in a solidly Christian circle (I didn’t want to get kicked out) but before I could even think, one woman started clapping. Then another. Then another. Pretty soon the whole room was clapping and one woman even jumped up and said, “I’m with you, sister!” I admit to a flood of relief and gratitude and I did actually sit up a bit straighter.
Later, during that same conference, I tested the waters with my new signature phrase and got just about the same reaction. It didn’t take long to figure out how much it resonated with women. We are all, on some level, so tired of trying. Trying to be good, trying to figure out our callings, trying to please everyone, trying to start a blog or speaking career, trying to fit with the Christian ‘in’ crowd and more.
How does one be truly badass for Jesus when we are exhausted, fearful, worried, insecure, lacking open doors, unsure, tired, left out, and more?
I used to think the answer was ‘do it afraid.’ Whatever the day brought, push feelings aside and do it afraid. It’s the old 'fake it til you make it' theory. Except that isn’t quite the right take on being badass.
I figured out recently what badass for Jesus really means is DO IT ANYWAY.
It’s so simple but so nuanced. Regardless of how you feel (feelings are liars) just do the next thing. Wanna write? Go ahead! Wanna speak? Send out inquiry letters to local churches. Wanna start a ministry but too afraid? Do it anyway.
Here’s what I’ve learned. I am never going to get over my fear, my worry, my second-guessing or my insecurity. At my age, it’s a bad habit now attached to my DNA and it’s not changing anytime soon. It may be disobedient but I’ve already spent too much time trying to alter it with little to no luck. So if I can’t cure or get over this series of issues and it’s holding me back in every way, how do I move forward?
I do it anyway.
I can’t wait to be perfect. I can’t wait to go viral. I can’t wait for a magic call from a publisher. I can’t wait for a major, worldwide tour to contact me. I can’t wait for a ‘celebrity’ Christian to notice me. All I have is what is in front of me today. The very best I have to give the world is to do the next thing, regardless of the outcome.
Do it anyway suggests that I will press forward, believing that obedience will always outrank anything that holds me back.
I want to be badass for Jesus every day of my life. No matter the task before me and no matter how I feel about it. Like the musical artist, Pink says, “Don’t let me get me.” I cannot keep getting in my own way by caving to things I can’t control. Instead, I am going to just move forward in obedience. I expect sometimes I will succeed and other times I will go down in flames but I will always walk away knowing I did the job.
Because that is what a badass does. To God be the glory!
There is a difference (apparently) between joy and happiness. I’m sure it’s some nuanced definition thing and one is eternal and one is superficial. I’m pretty sure that I am chasing the wrong one all the time. But can I tell you a secret?
I don’t care.
I am so worn out by trying to figure out if I am chasing the right thing or the wrong thing or the Christian thing. It’s SO MUCH WORK.
And hey, just to juke you a little bit, Jesus said his burden was light. Not this twisted, over-analytical, bang-your-head-against-a-wall thing I keep doing.
I just want to be happy. I want to feel happy. I want to laugh and sing and dance and be silly. I want to have so much of it that when life punches me in the nose with ‘reality’ that I can fight back without losing the self-esteem battle. Again.
So I hunt joy. I hunt fun. I hunt laughter. I hunt funny people because they make me smile. Ok, so that’s a little creepy sounding but whatever, man. It’s the truth.
It’s simply too tempting and frankly, EASY, to wallow in self-pity.
For example, I am frequently around a group of women (because we all have kids) who I think are joy suckers. Like Dementors in Harry Potter, they walk around sucking all the joy out of the air with their hypocrisy, self-righteousness, and teenage selfies. And every single time, I feel bad about myself after being with them. WHAT??
I used to sit around and try to figure out what I could do to fit in. How could I change myself? Would the right hair or jewelry make the statement I need to gain their acceptance? Would the right words, enough grace, or even ignoring them protect me from feeling pain from them? The answer was surprisingly simple.
Since the third grade, I have tried to manipulate people into liking me by becoming what I think they like. I have no idea why I have kept his up for the last thirty-something years. Even as I write this I see how it’s utterly ludicrous. There must have been some kind of positive reinforcement somewhere that kept me in this insane quest for acceptance. Or I’m just thick as all get out. Either way, I’m so over it.
I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired.
So I’m hunting joy. Joyful people, YouTube videos, books to read, Pinterest boards to follow….You name it. If it makes me laugh, I’m in.
So to bring you all some joy, here are a few favorite things.
The new ad campaign by Cigna.
This new book by Melanie Dale.
These tee shirts I saw on The Profit.
I am loving following my kids on SnapChat and Twitter because teenagers are hilarious. I also am loving America’s Got Talent and practically die every Tuesday in anticipation. The finale is next week, people!
I’m looking for a tribe of joy hunters. Are you in? You just need to be sick of striving to do this. What things bring you oodles of joy and laughter and happiness right now?